As I look back to the already 10 weeks that we have been with our little one...I get all the feels. Today is the last Friday before I go back to work. Why oh why? I will miss all of our snuggles and time together. My mother in law will be taking care of you for a few days every week while I'm at work. I made the choice to go back to work...but I still feel exhausted...how can I balance it all?? I know I am so blessed to have so much support but , it just feels overwhelming at times...
But before the now...let's go back to our Prince and his birth story.
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| On my due date. Little did I know I'd have to wait 1 extra week |
His due date was May 18th. We had been waiting with my husband for the day to arrive...and once it did...it was just like any other day. We waited anxiously. I was not sure what contractions felt like...I wasn't sure if the ones I was feeling were the "real" ones. I kept drinking chamomile tea and walking every morning. Nothing. One day later, two days later, we met with the doctor to discuss our options. Either induction or keep waiting but we could not go past 42 weeks. Waiting too long could lead to stillbirth--one of my worst fears. So induction it was.
Before going to the hospital we had a huge lunch at Rudy's. Something I didn't know we were not supposed to do! Then we headed into the hospital and I took a pill to start the dilation. That night I watched a bit of TV. The nurses kept offering pills to sleep but I skipped those. My husband kept asking me to rest as he said I'd need the energy for later. The following morning, around 7 am the doctor came to break my water. I was at 3 cm dilated.
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| Just waiting |
Later on, a doctor came to inject pitocin and to start the epidurial. After the pinch on my back, the epidural felt so good. I felt so relaxed while we waited for my body to do it's thing. Twelve hours later I was fully dilated. The nurse checked and said the magical number: 10 cm, we could start the pushing. "Will you teach me how the breathing goes?" I asked her.
"Yes, we'll practice before the doctor gets here" She replied.
After two hours of pushing, and surrounded by nurses I was still there. My legs were getting cramped. I was getting out of breath and feel all my strength almost gone. I was getting too exhausted. I looked at my husband.
"I don't know if I can do this. Are you praying for me?" " I asked him
"I can't do this alone, you've got to pray!" I continued saying.
"I am" He replied.
With another breath, I continued pushing. Those contractions were getting stronger as the epidurial had faded by then.
With every failure. I would breath again, and give a pep talk to the team.
"We've got this" I told them. The nurses nodded in acceptance, knowing that I was the one that had to push the baby out of my body. My husband kept saying he could see the head, but once I breathed again, he would go back up.
"We will have to bring forceps or vacuum" Said the doctor.
"No" I told myself. WE can do this. I can do this. I held my husbands hand and squeezed him.
"This is it." I told him once again. Then I pushed. I pushed with all the strength I had left. I was hoping the contractions would also help. I felt the worse pain I'd ever felt. I couldn't wait for the next contraction. I had to keep pushing to make the pain go away. Once more I kept pushing until I could feel you coming out.
That moment.
You were being pulled out of me--your eyes were wide open. You were ready to see this world. We looked at each other and then they wrapped you and handed you to me. My dear son. Charles the Third. I will do anything for you sweet babe. We both worked for this. I told your dad to be with you at all times.
That he did. They weighted you and measured you.
"Ten fingers, ten toes" He said across the room.
I smiled. "Gosh, I love you both" I thought. We had brought you there, all the waiting was over, and we could finally hold you my love.
Our family had a new member. Our blessing.
We love you son! With all our hearts, and more than you will ever know.
Love,
Mom.
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| My first time meeting you. I see you! I looove you! |
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Daddy's Hugs.
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| Wearing knitted clothes made by my Aunt (1 Month later). |
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| Wearing knitted clothes in the middle of the summer (2 Months later) |
